Jen's coming to town

She said so in her blogs. We talked a while ago about her coming up to visit a couple of us, guess that's changed. I can't help but feel slighted, since it was our discussion about my trip to see Dan and meeting up in Philly for a day or two, then meeting up in Toronto again that had sparked the idea of her driving up an extra two hours to see fellow ex-mods on a particular forum. She only mentioned seeeing someone, not me. On a Sunday too, which likely makes getting together a tad more difficult than usual. Yeah, TTC sucks. The laughingstock in public transportation.

I fear the worst, as the rift between myself and our mutual "friend" seems to have turned into a gulf. I may be exaggerating if I try to compare it to the Grand Canyon. I hope that I am. I also hope that I'll be able to hook up with Jen, as she didn't mention in the blogs how long she'll stay up here, nor did that issue come up in our conversations about this massive road trip.

Finding out about this visit to said person specifically via blogs just only reinforces the negative image I have of myself, and I feel pretty bummed about the wrong turns in all my relationships. And it isn't like I can make new friends just like that. *snaps a finger*

I guess that's why I'm afraid to end my dating relationship with Dan-- I'll end up hurting him and he'll want nothing to do with me anymore. I don't even know how he went from "friend" to "boyfriend".... but I'd rather have a friend than a lover any time. Is it too late to go back?